I’m not an expert, I’m no “healer”. I’m not an empath, but I am empathetic.
I facilitate space for people’s own healing journeys and for learnings to happen through experience - creating space for experiments and failures so people can explore what truly works for them. I’m not here to tell you to live my life or lifestyle, I simply invite you to explore what you don’t know and what you might want to know/what might serve you better in relating to others.
So, start with YOUR voice.
How many voices do you hear in your head? I don’t mean in the Summer of Sam kind of way! ;-P But, in the - “how many people do you listen to before you make a decision” kind of way? There’s usually a community of people you use to guide your path of right and wrong decisions. Maybe they are your parents, friends, grandparents, teachers, spouse? Some are the voice of encouragement - the voice telling you ‘yes, you can do that’. Some are the voice of discouragement - the voice that says ‘no, don’t do/share that’.
Are these voices actually running how you live? In short, YES.
We have LOTS of voices in our mind, including our own, that often weigh in on how we feel, how we act, and ultimately how we decide to live our lives.
Most of the time, the voice that has the best capability of bringing us to a fulfilling, exciting, rewarding place is the hardest to hear.
I discovered this a few times in my life - most recently when I decided to quit a corporate job and work on my own business. Leaving a steady paycheck, respect of peers + management, and an industry I’d worked in for 10 years to pursue a creative endeavor with no guarantee and a 3 yr track record of success working with someone else (not all on my own).
I was terrified, determined, excited, and way overly confident in my own abilities. What I didn’t know (and what I know now that I don’t know) is beyond my wildest expectations. Meaning there’s SOOOOOOOO much I’m terrible at and need to work on and need to learn and grow at.
However, with all of that - all the struggles and failures and learning opportunities (some of which I continue to ignore despite knowing I need to focus) - are not a reason not to listen. In the three years that I’ve been creating Intimacy Alive and helping people discover intimate truths about themselves and others, I am the most fulfilled I’ve ever been. Of course there are low points and moments I question things, but the more I can soften in those moments and reconnect to the nourishing voice coming from my heart, the more flow starts to appear around me.
Most of the time it’s hard to hear our own voice. It’s often not the loudest, strongest, or even most rational voice. Sometimes its message is shrouded in fear, disbelief, or frustration.
Sometimes I even ask, what’s the importance to find your own voice? Well, there is NO ONE else in the world with the same voice - not a single person shares your voice. You are unique to your experiences, your makeup, and your perspective. There are many people that share similar views and values of the world, have lived through similar experiences, and even who can sound similar (I sound like my sister and my mom on the phone) - that’s often how you experience belonging and find ‘your tribe’ (connecting with those similar people). However, none of them are exactly the same and sharing their gifts with the world in exactly the same way as you.
Finding your voice means sharing your creative expression with the world. Even if that’s through accounting, computer coding, policing - things we often associate with non-creativity.
Even touch, lovemaking, and laughter can be a creative expression of your true voice.
The point of finding your voice isn’t about being the loudest, smartest, most creative - it has NOTHING to do with competition with others. The point is to experience the life you’re able to that no one else will quite experience the same way, and by doing so give the people around you permission to do the same.
This isn’t about embracing your “specialness” to be better than others, but to truly see the beauty in all expression (especially that which empowers and inspires the good we’re all capable of).
So, my challenge to you - as a facilitator of healing - is to do one small thing today that calls from your voice. An example might be taking a 5min break when you’re feeling stressed, taking a moment to stare out the window at the sky at work, giving without expectation, sharing a new idea that might be rejected or adopted, expressing gratitude to a friend, going a new way to work or on your way home, giving your partner an extra long hug, calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, offering yourself forgiveness for something you didn’t know any better for, and the list goes on - the expression of your personal voice is infinite, so start by embracing the first shift.