I’ve shared a lot of posts about the challenges of vulnerability and deep intimacy and how to overcome them - potentially why it’s important, too. I’ve encouraged you to stay the course, listen to your heart and open up to a different experience of relationships.
This post is not different in that sense, but today’s post focuses on how true, deep intimacy is and can be JOYFUL.
Intimacy is a deep friendship & fondness - with yourself, with others, with the world.
Who doesn’t love friendship?! Especially the friends we get to choose in life - the ones that become family overtime through ups and downs (the ones that make it past the 10, 20, 30+ year marks). Not only is it great to foster and experience that, but friendship and connections are apparently vital to a thriving life (according to this 75yr study by Harvard).
Cultivating intimacy enlivens your spirit and creates space for natural, healthy rhythms of life. Intimacy is the space beyond surface. It’s beyond that part of general niceties and edging on the beautiful depths of imperfection that comes from being human. It’s like moving beyond the surface of the sea - wracked with waves that can thrash you around or give you a pleasure cruise depending on the wind - to the depths below that have a natural current that’s slower and more reliable. Connecting with a gradual, easy flow that can change over time.
So, where is the JOY in connecting to that depth within you? Does it sound joyous - exalting, exuberant, creating a “jump for joy” kind of energy?
Well, joy can actually be a steady, stable confidence and perpetual state of wonder. I believe true joy is an acceptance of and appreciation for what is - satisfaction with the moment at hand. Yes, occasionally you will feel like jumping for joy, and that’s a great experience, but that is often experienced from exterior circumstances.
Do you want to embrace that deep, flowing satisfaction deep within yourself as a joyous people?
That shift to joy with intimacy is easy and can happen right in this very moment.
Take three slow, deep breaths through the nose (maybe to the count of 4 with the inhale & 4 with the exhale).
Focus on the space within the lungs and feel your rib cage expand.
Maybe add some arm movement by stretching the arms overhead.
Feel more connected & clear - that’s it.
You can do that by yourself, you can do that with friends.
The hard part is practicing that on a consistent basis. Connecting in and feeling safe in your body is the best way to get consistency. That consistency helps feel joyous even when you can breeze through awkwardness, laugh at how serious you might be taking yourself, and find lightness in your heart when life feels heavy.
If you want help practicing that consistency, I’ve curated lots of tools to take you beyond the surface into the depths of who you are. And, as collaborators playing together in the world of intimacy, we always create specific tools that are unique to your experience.
Each step you take to explore your own depths brings you closer to epic amounts of fulfilling intimacy with others.