You are whole. You are fine.
Even when you’re not fine and feeling ALL the feels of sadness, loathing, judgment, guilt, shame, etc - you are ok because you’re human!
I have a memory from when I was about 14 or 15 reading Seventeen magazine. It was a Spring issue all about the latest trends in fashion and beauty. As I flipped through the glossy pages, I stumbled across some full page faces of pretty teens. And a headline that read “Freckles are Out” or something of that sort (don’t believe me...here’s an article from 2018 about how freckles are finally fashionable...SMH).
I remember going through a myriad of emotions starting in embarrassment and ending in “WTF?”. Embarrassment mostly because as a kid (and still somewhat as an adult) I got major freckles in summer. It was a natural part of who I was for as long as I could remember. So, to hear they were suddenly out of fashion was confusing. Who decides these things anyway?!
Landing on WTF, from that moment on, I made a pact with myself that if there was something natural about my body or who I am that I couldn’t control (or didn’t want to control aka leaving my eyebrows* to themselves), I would learn to accept it and rock it vs. trying to hide it.
*Low and behold, thick, bushy eyebrows are also suddenly back in style! Ugh.
Now, I don’t adhere totally to women’s all natural beauty standards of letting all hair grow and never wearing makeup, but I walk a fine line. I wear minimal makeup to highlight my natural features and love to play with colors occasionally, as well as shaving my legs and armpits because I also like the smooth skin. I’m not saying my way is THE way, and I’m not here to judge someone for going all the way to contouring, waxing/lasering, or even tattooing eyebrows/lips, etc.
The point I’m making is that if you do those things to hide, change (because you’re rejecting what you’re given), or mask your natural self because someone somewhere has set RIDICULOUS standards - YOU DON’T NEED TO! (A similar point could be made about exercise - there’s a difference between being healthy and taking care of your body and working your body into submission, but I’ll just leave it at that.)
You are PERFECT as you are.
Your freckles (yeah, maybe that’s for my 14yr old self), your wrinkles, your eyebrows, your perceived imperfections are some of what makes you unique, lovable and absolutely divine. It could also be your sensitivity, your empathy, your creative spirit that feels “out of style”. Regardless of it being exterior or interior, it’s ok to accept it.
Instead of investing in coverup, botox, laser treatment, etc, invest time to accept and appreciate those elements that are yours.
Intimacy is about intimately loving yourself so you can be more compassionate to those around you. Intimacy Alive isn’t about teaching you how to have the “right” relationship, it’s about building the internal muscles to express passionate love to yourself and another. Intimacy is about making that pact with yourself right now to take responsibility for your natural state and whole well-being in a way that is nourishing and loving instead of narcissistic - where you cultivate a love from within that also gives those around you permission to do the same.
So, are you ready to experience that kind of intimacy?
What’s one thing you’ve rejected about yourself, that’s part of who you are, that you’re willing to start accepting right now?