So, you've just met a man or woman who totally peaks your interest. They're smart, charming, you are really attracted to them and you both have a ton in common. Conversation seems to flow naturally and you can't wait to see them again. You can see them getting along with your friends and family and might even jump so far as picturing an engagement ring. You get those butterflies in your stomach and feel a spark even if you just hold hands. You start thinking this person could be IT for you, am I right?!
There is an interesting thing that happens when I tell people that I'm an Intimacy Leader. When I say that to men, they ask if I focus on sex. One guy even asked me "oh, like put this there and do this?" For women, they are intrigued and ask me to elaborate. They jump to taking intimacy to mean more than just physical contact.
Well, it really is about combining the physical with the emotional.
Today's post is focused on S-E-X. You know that kind of sex you see in movies like The Notebook, that everyone thinks is pure fantasy? Is that passionate, steamy, un-inhibited sex really real? The kind of sex that is so intense that you get lost in the moment and don't even notice how sweaty or out of breath you are. If you've never experienced that, do you want to? Why?
Just like your body craves nutrients - like when you're craving pickles or tomatoes or steak - your emotions can create cravings for what you're lacking. That comes in the form of wanting different types of personal connection.
If your body craves exercise because you know you're not being a healthy eater or you need to clear your mind, the longer you go without listening the harder it is to get back into your routine or to get in shape. Your emotional health can be the same way.
Are you sick of playing the dating game?
Have you read the book The Rules and are you following them? Is that helping you feel fulfilled in your dating life and getting you the results you want?
Or, have you been trying to "win" your date? Trying to prove that you are better than the next guy or girl - that you have more to offer? Are you trying to MAKE them see your value? If you're approaching dating as a game with set rules - trying to one-up the other person - you're missing out on a really important aspect of love and partnership. Here is a news flash: there are no rules!
Do you feel that you're cool? Or do you feel that you're amazing?
What I mean by that is if you want to feel "cool" it can stem from pressure to appear uncaring or look for outside approval for how to act, communicate and express yourself. You might think that showing how you really feel makes you stand out from the crowd in a bad way. It's human nature to want to belong and an easy way to bond with others is to share the same perspectives or behavior.
If you feel in awe of yourself and admire who you are as a person, that stems from being connected to the truth of who you are and why you're alive. You find that how you express yourself enhances your connections to others. You've probably had people tell you you're bold or courageous and that feels great!
